Monday Night Football - 2025 Fantasy Preview - Week 14

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will BE TURNED TO CHOPPED CHEESE - THE OCKY WAY

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

It’s the final week of the regular season, and the final MNFP for the year. We tried a playoff rendition back in 2020, but it turned out to not be much of a vibe. Unfortunately, Nick failed to fulfill his end of the bargain in the week 13 chaos scenario, so we head into the final MNF game of the fantasy regular season year with a mostly clear picture of what is to come. That being said - there is still one final playoff spot up for grabs. Much like how your Mom said anyone can become an astronaut, this final playoff slot is also anyone’s game. Will Sky become the league’s first 3 time biggest loser? Will Matt #2, Keith, or Alex finally hoist their first ever koch cup? Will I die alone??? It’s time for the MNFP.

Games

Philadelphia Eagles (8–4) vs Los Angeles Chargers (8–4)

• 5:15 PM PT / 8:15 PM ET on ABC
• Line: Chargers -2.5

Matchups

99% – 52.05 pts: Robotripping Gardener (8-5) vs YOU WILL NEVER SEE HEAVEN (8-5)

Robo sits up 35, with Saquan “GEN Z BOSS AND A MINI” Barquisha still to drop a DEVIOUS 8 additional points on Dan’s headtop. Feeling eternally #blessed that Saquan decided to hold back all his top 3 pick deserving high point outings for the last few games of the season. Additionally, Patrick has received the Walter Payton man of honor award for DMing dan to prevent his starting of (OUT - feeling sad) Marvin Harrison Jr. Dan then decided to start .1 pt scoring DJ Moore instead, as a thank you. With this win, Patrick should clinch a first round bye with the 2 seed - while Dan looks destined for a new name, the 5th seed, and a date with the winner of Scott/Matt.

99% – 51.59 pts: Detroit Tropics 11th PLACE! (4-9) vs BOMBOCLAT BLITZERS 🏴😡🇯🇲 (3-10)

Provided Sky is intending to lock up his league record, 3rd last place finish - this was a fantastic way to close out the regular season. With an absolute bottom of the barrel points for parlayed with a runaway most points against, what better way to cap off a 4 game end of season losing streak than receiving the biggest blowout from the second worst team in the league? Look for Ladd “Damn, that’s a cold ass” McConkey - to pop for 63+ for Sky to have a chance in this one. A great final surge from Matt (about 5 weeks too late), but he will head into the consolation bracket as the 11 seed.

99% – 30.97 pts: Hot Gibby’s French Fries (9-4) vs Bricked up (9-4)

The lights were just a bit too bright for 2 time last place league finisher Bricked Up as he rides a 40pt deficit into MNF. A Kimani Vidal close of that gap would award Keith the 2 seed, but for now, he looks destined for spot #3 and a #6 showdown with the Milky Chancellor. As for Alex - he will head into playoffs the runaway favorite for this year’s championship. It’s a bit weird that he did’t score the most points this week though, isn’t it? Oh well, im sure that wont happen again during playoffs - leaving Alex without his name etched upon the Koch Cup for the 7th straight season.

80% – 14.23 pts: Anti-Milk League (6-7) vs Milk Men (6-7)

The chaos merchants needed Nick to drop a Stanley stinker of a week 14, and to his credit, he absolutely delivered. Just a humble 55pts to his name thus far, with 3 athletes still to take the field. If every single one of these guys gets turf toe the second they jog out of the tunnel, Jam may just have a chance. Unfortunately though, it appears to be lights out for the disgraced former league winner from beantown. If the Anti-Milk League is able to hold out for a victory tonight, his reward will likely be the 7th or 8th overall playoff seed - an immunity idol from whatever depraved fear factor ass punishment our league cooks up for the biggest loser.

57% – 2.35 pts: Blazed Balls (6-7) vs Oof ouchie my dignity (5-8)

If AJ Brown scores > 10pts tonight (something he has done in 5/12 outings thus far this season) Hy will miraculously finish up the year as a .500 team. This is a testament to the human spirit. As the season leader in total moves made - it is absolutely critical that Hy ends the season on a 3 game win streak - so that were are all able to continue our collective delusion that fantasy success is even remotely correlated to either effort or skill. We are all behind you tonight Hy, in the literal sense most of all.

59% – 1.98 pts: lol i luv kiwi 🥝🥝🥝 (7-6) vs GADSDEN Godsend (7-6)

It’s THE MAINNNNNN EVENT. Forget all those elephants who were trafficked here during the peak of the American circus circuit -> THERE IS A NEW EXOTIC ATTRACTION IN TOWN! The final playoff spot on the table is all coming down to Dallas Goedert and the LA Charger D closing a 12pt gap for Matt #2. Similar to above, at league low 10 total moves on the season (basically the floor to avoid byes), the fate of Matt #2 represents the “fantasy is pure chance / luck side of the argument”. We caught up with the the defending league champion, just as he was finishing making his final sacrifice to the Koch Cup. His eyes were fully rolled back, as he kept slurring the incantation “week 7 chargers, week 2 goedert” - once he re-entered this earthly realm, he had these parting words for the league: “Rice a roni! A San Francisco Treat”. It’s MONDAY NIGHT